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Writer's pictureGerry Savage, MBA

Building Relationships Through Understanding: A Lesson from Charlie

Updated: Jul 26


Sometimes, when we've been doing something for a long time, we think we have all the answers, but life tells us that's not always the case. This weekend, I spent some time with my new horse Charlie, whose show name is "Are you speaking my language?"—which is very appropriate. Charlie is a beautiful bay Quarter Horse with a great personality and often has an opinion of his own.


Fast forward to our ride this morning. As we were walking through the fields, I reflected on an important lesson about communication and relationships.

Recently, I've been struggling to get Charlie to move forward. I thought I was communicating effectively, but something wasn't clicking. It took a fresh perspective from my trainer, Abbey, to spot the issue. My lower legs were at a 45-degree angle, just rubbing Charlie’s side and annoying him. Charlie instantly responded with a simple adjustment—putting my lower legs out more. The ride became smooth and enjoyable, and our bond strengthened.


So why am I sharing this? Because this experience mirrors how we often communicate with people. In sales and business, we might think we're being clear and effective, but if we're not speaking in a way that resonates with the other person, we're just creating friction. They might comply because of obligation, not because they truly understand or agree.


Adapting my style to suit Charlie's needs made all the difference. Similarly, when we adjust our communication to match the preferences of others, we build stronger, more effective relationships.


At The Four Pillars Consulting Group, we focus on Sales and Sales Leadership. We also offer equine-assisted learning, working with horses as coaches on the ground, not in the saddle. You always have the option to add a workshop for your team. It is experiential learning, out of the classroom, conference room, or board room, and the takeaways can be applied instantly yet last a lifetime.


Next time you're interacting with someone, consider: Are you communicating in a way that they prefer?


Look at our Personality Styles Course, "Effective Communication in a Sales Call".


And you may enjoy taking our thirty-question Personality Assessment:


Free Access

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